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“In the real world, I’m a coward. When I’m online, I’m a hero.”

These words, paraphrased from a conversation with a young man with autism, have stayed with us throughout the years of research that underpin our recently published book exploring the relationship between children with special educational needs and disabilities and digital technology.

We’re constantly bombarded with warnings about the potential dangers of digital technology, especially for children. But this quote captures something we might miss. The digital world can be a vital space of empowerment and connection.

In our work, we’ve found that digital technology offers more than just access to learning for young people with special educational needs and disabilities. It opens doors to social lives, creative outlets and even employment opportunities that might be closed to them in the offline world. And yet, this potential is too often overshadowed by fears about the risks and harms they might encounter online.

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Adolescence, the Netflix drama that delves into the hidden dangers of growing up in a digital world, has taken up a lot of the national conversation around social media, cyberbullying and online exploitation. But there is another show on Netflix that has received far less attention.

The Remarkable Life of Ibelin is a powerful documentary that tells the story of Mats Steen, a young Norwegian man with a severe disability who found freedom, friendship and purpose in the online world of gaming. Though physically limited by Duchenne muscular dystrophy, Mats, known as “Ibelin” in World of Warcraft, built a rich life online.

After his passing at 25, his gaming friends revealed just how much he had meant to them. Some travelled to his funeral. The film challenges stereotypes about online gaming. It shows it as a source of connection, compassion, and real human bonds.

We’ve spoken to many young people with special educational needs and disabilities who echo the same themes. Online spaces offer a sense of identity and capability they don’t always feel offline.

We found that the benefits of digital engagement for children with special educational needs and disabilities are extensive. It enhances communication: tools such as voice interfaces and text-to-speech software help those with speech or language difficulties express themselves confidently. Online platforms create spaces for friendships, especially for those who find face-to-face interaction challenging.

Young people can build meaningful relationships online.
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Digital tools can also foster independence. Calendar apps can be useful for those with ADHD, or assistive technology for learners with dyslexia. And for education, tailored online content can bridge the gap between mainstream and specialist learning environments.

But the digital world isn’t an equal playing field. Children with special educational needs and disabilities face disproportionate levels of online harm, including grooming, cyberbullying and exposure to inappropriate content. Crucially, they often lack the tools or support to report harm or seek help.

This, of course, raises concerns for the parents, carers and teachers of young people with special educational needs and disabilities. We’ve found that parents, carers and teachers we’ve spoken to often reach for a “prohibition first” approach – feeling young people will be safer if they do not have the access to the internet and social media that a young person without their needs might enjoy.

Safeguarding and empowerment

We’ve been asked questions such as “What apps should I ban?” or “How do I stop my child going on the dark web?” These questions reflect a risk-averse mindset that fails to appreciate the value of digital engagement. Risk cannot be eliminated, but it can be managed. And, more importantly, opportunity must be protected.

Too often, safeguarding strategies are done to children, not with them. It’s a good idea for parents and teachers of all children to talk to them about their digital life: what brings them joy, what worries them, where they feel confident or confused. Children are more likely to talk about fears or bad experiences if they feel believed, respected and understood. Make yourself a safe adult to talk to: one who listens without panic.

While banning apps or limiting access might be useful in some cases, it should not be the starting point for safeguarding. It’s worth considering whether there are skills that a child could learn that would allow them to use technology safely.

What’s more, online safety lessons are best when adapted to the communication style, cognitive ability and emotional maturity of an individual child. Visual aids, social stories, or interactive games may work better than text-heavy advice.

Fear can limit what technology can offer the children who may need it most. For young people with special educational needs and disabilities, digital spaces are not simply entertainment, they are platforms for agency, creativity, relationships and voice.

The role of adults here is to ensure these spaces are not only safe, but welcoming and empowering. That means moving past automatic restrictions and toward thoughtful, inclusive strategies that support children who might gain the most from using these technologies. We don’t need more bans. We need more belief.

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.